T here is a catch to all of this: For solitude to be beneficial, certain preconditions must be met. Consider the hikikomori phenomenon in Japan, where hundreds of thousands of depressed or troubled young people quarter themselves away, sometimes for years, often requiring extensive reintegration therapy to move on. The difference between solitude as rejuvenation and solitude as suffering is the quality of self-reflection that one can generate while in it, and the ability to come back to social groups when one wants to.
When preconditions are met, solitude can be restorative. For Fong, who meditates 15 minutes a day and takes monthly solo camping trips, it is at least as essential as exercise or healthy eating. Possibly, he says, it is necessary for a truly healthy mind. Most likely, such measures are different for everybody. But researchers recommended taking it where you can get it, by meditating, taking solo walks or going on camping trips alone.
Bowker makes a point of driving in silence. The point is to be away from social interaction and looking inward, however this may be achieved for you.
Lonely people must also run the gauntlet of an impaired ability to regulate their own thoughts, feelings and behaviour. Alarmingly, this process is usually automatic — and your capacity for self-regulation can be affected without you even noticing. It can lead to a toxic combination of low self-esteem, hostility, stress, pessimism and social anxiety — ultimately culminating in the isolated person distancing themselves from others even further.
In a worst case scenario, loneliness can make people depressed, and a common symptom of depression is social withdrawal — again, not helpful. For decades, solitude by choice was seen as more benign. Its benefits have been extolled for far longer by philosophers , religious leaders, indigenous peoples and artists. Teenagers with a preference for spending time alone tend to be less socially competent , and research has shown that, while some people might think that they prefer solitude, in reality, they enjoy connecting with others, even total strangers.
These negative expectations are problematic, because they keep people from learning what actually happens when you interact with people. So it seems that we do need social practice — but not for the reasons you might think. Regularly interacting with others teaches us to feel valued and helps us to accurately interpret the intentions of others, which helps us to have more positive social experiences.
And one of the realisations I had was that we're just a little slower to pick up these things. I wasn't very intuitive, but that was okay. This is backed up by an abundance of research, including studies into the effects of extreme isolation in other animals, which suggests that social experience is particularly important when the brain is still developing.
Meanwhile ants which are isolated from birth have smaller brains and behave differently to their peers, while social fish are less cooperative when they are reared in isolation. When scientists compared the behaviour of ex-laboratory chimpanzees who had been deprived of social contact either early or late in life, they found that those who had been alone from a younger age were less tolerant of invasions of their personal space, less likely to groom other members of the group an important method of bonding , had less social initiative, and tended to form smaller networks of contacts.
In human children, studies have found a direct link between the amount of social practice they get and their social skills. In one group of Portuguese pre-schoolers, those who increased their social engagement experienced a corresponding boost to their social abilities , while participating in afterschool activities has been repeatedly shown to help — even sport.
Meanwhile, children who have more siblings tend to be more adept at navigating the social world, and as with adults, children who spend more time alone are more susceptible to interpreting social situations in self-defeating ways.
And where better for children to find companions to practise on than at school. Even before the pandemic, a surprisingly large number of children around the world were not educated this way; as of , there were 1. Ansell, on the hand, is keen to stress how positive he found his experiences with solitude, and the importance of adopting the right attitude. He saw the opportunity to live alone in the Welsh mountains as a challenge, to see how self-sufficient he could be.
Traveling alone is also a great way to build self-sufficiency and confidence. Learn something new. Instead of being focused on doing what other people want to do, you can pursue something that satisfies your own interests.
Visit a museum. It also means that you can check out things at your own pace and react to exhibits without wondering what other people are thinking. Research has shown that prosocial actions like volunteering can have a number of positive benefits.
Look for opportunities in your community where you can devote a little time to a cause you are passionate about. Most research suggests that too much social isolation takes a serious toll on both physical and mental health. But there are benefits to spending time on your own, as long as you balance it by maintaining strong and supportive social connections.
When you are working in a group, you might exert less effort to memorize information because you simply assume that others in the group will fill in the gaps, a phenomenon known as social loafing. Working on things alone can help you focus your attention, which can improve your retention and recall.
In one study published in the journal Psychological Bulletin, researchers found that groups working collaboratively to recall information performed worse than individuals recalling things on their own. It gives you time to focus on your interests. Being alone is an important part of self-development.
It allows you to get to know yourself. When you are surrounded by others, you might set your own ideas and passions aside in order to appease the wants and needs of friends and family. Taking time on your own gives you a critical opportunity to make creative choices and focus your attention without worrying about what other people are thinking.
Collaborative brainstorming is often seen as one of the best ways to generate new ideas, but research has found that people are often better at solving difficult problems when they work on their own. Where group efforts are often about achieving consensus and fitting in with the crowd, solo work encourages innovation without added social pressure. Relationships are often strongest when each person takes time to take care of themselves.
Even when it comes to friendships, the old adage may be true—a little absence might really make the heart grow fonder. One study published in the British Journal of Psychology found that highly intelligent people actually become less satisfied the more time they spend socializing with friends.
Having friendships and a strong social support system is important for your mental health and well-being, but taking a break and going it solo once in a while may help you appreciate those connections all the more. Group work is often lauded for improving collaboration and innovation, but it can also be distracting. Even trying to focus on more than one thing at a time has been shown to dramatically reduce overall productivity.
Research suggests that a certain amount of alone-time can actually help you have greater empathy for the people around you. Even when you are by yourself, you may never take a break from communicating with others.
Even in cases where you are not able to get time completely by yourself, cutting back on digital communication for a brief time might be helpful. In one study , researchers found that when teens went five days without communication devices, they improved their ability to interpret emotions and facial expressions.
Just be careful not to let periods of solitude turn into social isolation— research has found that loneliness is linked to decreased empathy. If you are used to surrounding yourself with friends and family or even prefer the company of strangers, learning to appreciate the joys of going solo may take some time.
One fascinating study found that participants would rather engage in mundane tasks or even administer electrical shocks to themselves rather than spend 6 to 15 minutes alone in a room with nothing to do but think.
In the study, participants much preferred to spend their time engaged in mundane tasks rather than being left to their own thoughts. The researchers concluded that most people would rather be doing something—even something negative—than sit and do nothing. The key is to engage in activities that allow you to feel a sense of inner solitude.
Some people can achieve this feeling while listening to music or reading a book, while others might require the quiet of a peaceful session of meditation. Find what works for you, then make sure that you have regular moments where you can retreat to this quiet mental space. Whether you are an introvert who thrives on solitude or a gregarious extrovert who loves to socialize, a little high-quality time to yourself can be good for your overall well-being.
The trick is to remember that this alone time is for focusing on you—for cultivating your passions, finding new inspirations, getting to know yourself better, or even engaging in some much-needed rest and relaxation. Even when you are busy, pencil in a little time each week for some moments of seclusion. Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life.
Trait empathy as a predictor of individual differences in perceived loneliness. Psychol Rep.
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